Exercises To Calm Your Anxious Thoughts
When Anxiety Peaks, You Still Have Tools
Facing medical uncertainty—whether before a surgery, during a hospital stay, or waiting on test results—can stir intense anxiety. But even in those hard moments, you have ways to activate calm in your nervous system and steady your inner experience.
Here are several strategies you can use, both proactively and in the moment:
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1. Reset with Andrew Huberman’s “Physiological Sigh” Breathing Technique
Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman highlights a breathing pattern called the “physiological sigh” as a fast-acting tool to downshift stress.
How to do it:
• Take two consecutive inhales through the nose (one “normal” inhale, then a second “top-up” inhale) before you exhale.
• Then exhale fully and gently through the mouth, letting more air go out than feels comfortable.
• Pause, then repeat as needed.
The logic: the double inhale “fills” more lung volume, and the long exhale stimulates your parasympathetic system (rest & digest), which slows heart rate and eases tension.
You can use this for just a few cycles when panic or tension rises—it’s simple and fast, but surprisingly effective.
2. Explore the “Five Things” Grounding Meditation
This technique helps anchor your attention in the present to break free of spiraling thoughts. Sometimes this is called the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise.
How to do it:
1. Five things you see.
Name (silently or out loud) five distinct things in your environment (a lamp, a corner seam, a tree outside, a pattern on a curtain, etc.).
2. Four things you feel.
Note four tactile sensations (e.g. the fabric of your shirt, breeze, your feet on the ground, your breath).
3. Three things you hear.
Listen and name three sounds (HVAC hum, footsteps, a distant voice, birds, etc.).
4. Two things you can smell.
Focus on two scents (or one—you get close).
5. One thing you can taste.
Notice a flavor (gum, mouthwash, or simply the neutral taste in your mouth).
This exercise shifts your focus away from fear or “what-ifs” and back into your body and environment. It’s especially useful when anxiety feels overwhelming.
3. Try Box Breathing (4-4-4-4 Technique)
Box breathing is a classic, structured breathwork practice that reliably lowers stress responses.
Steps:
1. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
2. Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
3. Exhale slowly for 4 seconds.
4. Hold the breath-out for 4 seconds.
5. Repeat the cycle for as long as needed.
Because each phase is equal in duration, this rhythm gives your nervous system a predictable, calming pattern to follow. Over time, it builds resilience to stress.
You can adjust the count slightly (e.g. 3-3-3-3 or 5-5-5-5) depending on what feels comfortable, especially if 4 seconds feels too long at first.
4. Have a “Prepare for the Worst, But Hope” Mindset
This isn’t about catastrophizing; it’s about having psychological preparedness while still holding space for positivity.
• Mentally rehearse potential challenges. Think through possible obstacles (delays, complications, bad news), and imagine how you might cope (calling a trusted friend, pausing and breathing, asking questions). This mental planning reduces shock if things go off script.
• Simultaneously, carry hopeful expectations. Let yourself hope for the best: smooth procedures, caring staff, recovery. Holding hope doesn’t mean ignoring risk—it means anchoring yourself in both realism and optimism.
This balanced mindset helps your mind feel less hijacked by fear, because you’ve given it “scenarios” it can work with.
5. Be in the Moment — Notice What’s Going Well
In high-stress medical settings, your attention often drifts to worries (“What if … ?”). But your mind also seeks evidence. Train it to notice small positives around you:
• A kind nurse who smiles or introduces themselves
• A doctor who listens patiently
• A comfortable chair or blanket
• An IV line that is working smoothly
• A supportive nod from another caregiver
These small anchors of “what’s going well” can help your brain find balance and gratitude even amid uncertainty.
6. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness: During quiet moments (waiting room, pre-op, overnight), gently return your attention to your breath or body sensations. Let thoughts come and go without “sticking” to them. Over time, this trains your mind to be less reactive.
Visualization: Use guided imagery (or your own mental scenes) to imagine your child receiving excellent care, procedures going smoothly, doctors communicating clearly, recovery progressing well.
You might “see” them waking up calm, hugging you, or meeting relief and healing. Let this become a mental rehearsal—your mind and nervous system begin to treat it as if it’s possible. This can lower fear’s hold and generate a subtle sense of possibility and safety.
Guided imagery is a well-known relaxation tool and is often used in stress, pain, and medical settings.
Your Mind-Calming Routine
You don’t need to master everything at once. Try this mini routine:
1. Start with Huberman’s physiological sigh (2 double inhales, extended exhale) 2–3 times.
2. Use box breathing for 4–5 cycles.
3. Then do a quick 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise.
4. In your downtime, do 1–2 minutes of mindfulness or visualization focusing on what’s going well and imagining positive outcomes.
5. If your mind drifts to fear, gently say: “I’ve planned for that possibility; now I hope for the best.”
Over time, each tool becomes more familiar and easier to access — even in high-stress moments.
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You’re Not Alone in This
Anxiety in the medical context is natural—your mind is doing its job by scanning for danger. But you also have practical, science-aligned ways to calm your nervous system and shift your perspective.
If you’d like help building a personalized calming toolkit tailored for your child’s medical journey—complete with scripts, guided audio, and practice strategies—I’d be honored to walk that path with you in caregiver coaching.
